You’re ugly. You’re too fat. You’re too skinny. No one likes you. You’re stupid. You’ll never amount to anything. You’re worthless. You’ll always be alone. You would absolutely freak out if someone said those things to your child. So, why do you think it about and say it to yourself?

We all have our bouts with being unconfident. We look in the mirror and wish things were different. We may wish our nose was different, we could lose weight, we could gain weight, we weren’t still getting acne in our adult life. We may look at our lives and wish we were happier. We may wish we had more money, a bigger house, or a better car.

It’s one thing to wish and have goals of a better self and life. It’s a whole other thing when we make ourselves feel bad for what we what [we think] we look like, what we don’t have, or what we haven’t accomplished. There is a very thin line between wishing things were different and downright self-bullying.

It is so much easier for us to believe the negatives about ourselves. Whether it’s something we’ve thought about ourselves, or if someone else has said it to us, we are more likely to believe a negative comment rather than a compliment. We’ve all heard it before “it takes five positives (words, thoughts, feelings) to counteract one negative. ”

If there is something you don’t like about yourself, you basically have two options. Option 1: Change the way you see yourself by changing your thoughts and words. Option 2: Change what you don’t like by setting a goal, making a plan, then putting the plan into action. Quite honestly, there’s no reason you can’t do both.

Start being mindful of your thoughts. Every time you think something negative about yourself, immediately think of at least five positives. Put sticky notes full of positive words all over your mirror, computer screen/desk, anywhere you look and spend your time. The more we force positives into our thoughts, the more it will come naturally.

Sometimes it may more than just flooding our thoughts with positives. We may have to put a plan in motion. If you don’t like your weight, set a goal, make a plan, and do something about it. You don’t like your home, set a goal, make a plan, and start saving for a new home. If you don’t like your current life, whether it be because of a relationship, job, or something else, set a goal, make a plan, and change it. Remember the saying “nothing changes if nothing changes.”

Making a change is rarely easy, and it will not happen overnight, but just think how much happier you will feel once you stop bullying yourself. In the meantime, no matter what you may think about yourself, you are awesome, you are doing an amazing job, you are beautiful the way you are!